My son asks me questions from time to time about our adoptive family, and the process that led to our being together. I carefully respond to his questions, being sure to answer exactly what he asks. These questions are usually so simple, that it’s often difficult for an adult’s overly analytical mind to acknowledge that the correct answer is often just a basic ‘yes’ or ‘no.’
Considering how to communicate your adoptive family’s story can take a lot of time. It’s unique for everyone, but it’s an important part of being an adoptive family. Despite the time these conversations take, it rarely ever comes to my mind that “we adopted our son, and because of this we are different from our friends.” In a way, adoption is such a big part of our lives together, but barely makes itself known in regular day-to-day life. I still nag him to get dressed like any other parent, and feel love and joy when he makes discoveries and achieves new feats. From my experience, the biological origins of my son make zero impact on the love and joy I feel being his dad. In fact, it makes our story even more precious because it becomes clear that without my wife and I, he would still have been born. We didn’t ‘make’ him. So, without us, where would he be now?
The adoption story is even more special because the uniqueness of human existence is just that much more apparent. The three of us somehow found each other amongst the trillions of people on earth, and to me that’s a story of love and discovery that rivals any other. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, however your family is formed.